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Anxiety By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

Signs you might suffer from anxiety

Understanding Anxiety: A Comprehensive Guide

Anxiety does not have to be as painful and debilitating as people often find it to be; it is manageable by using effective, research-based interventions provided at Gate Healing, PLLC.  In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore the various types and aspects of anxiety, its common symptoms, and how to overcome the challenges it presents.

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Common Anxiety Symptoms and Experiences

  • Do you often find yourself feeling anxious or nervous without a clear trigger, perhaps experiencing those infamous “butterflies in your stomach”?
    • I have heard people say that “butterflies” are too cute. . . that the experience can be more intense and feel like “Bats” in their stomach.
  • Has anxiety become a roadblock, preventing you from living your life to the fullest?
  • Do you avoid social situations because of uncertainty about how to navigate them?
  • Have opportunities for personal or professional growth slipped through your fingers due to the fear of the unknown, or even fear of success?
  • Do you frequently get lost in a sea of “what if” thoughts?
  • Do you often catch yourself caught in a relentless cycle of worry, no matter how trivial the issues might seem?
    • Perhaps you’ve diligently prepared for a test, only to draw a blank when it’s handed to you. Or, despite hours of rehearsal, your hands tremble and your mind goes blank the moment you step onto a stage. Whether you’re facing a crucial presentation at work or summoning the courage to approach someone special, anxiety can be a formidable adversary. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be a barrier to your success. Read on to learn more about different types of anxiety and how to manage them.

These are just a few of the common experiences associated with anxiety. Additionally, you might encounter physical symptoms like a dry mouth, racing heart, shortness of breath, and a constricted throat, especially before or during significant events such as presentations, interviews, or dates.

Exploring Anxiety in Its Many Forms

Anxiety manifests in various ways, each with its unique challenges. As you begin your journey to address anxiety, you may notice that your anxiety levels fluctuate, even as you seek professional guidance. This is entirely normal, and I’m here to help you build the tools to manage your anxiety effectively.

It’s important to understand that seeking help for anxiety or nervousness can be daunting, as it involves opening up to someone new about personal, sometimes embarrassing experiences. However, counseling for anxiety provides a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore techniques tailored to your specific needs.

Anxiety can range from common fears related to failure, rejection, or physical pain to deeper concerns about existential and spiritual beliefs. Here are some common types of anxiety:

Anticipatory Anxiety

Anticipatory Anxiety applies to all of the following types of anxiety. It is when you feel nervous or anxious before a situation occurs. Many people find those “what-ifs” rolling around their minds in a way that creates a feeling of paralysis.

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The Centipede and the Frog

“Analysis Paralysis” is one form of anticipatory anxiety. Analysis Paralysis is when you may feel anxious about making a decision as a result of the possibility of making the wrong decision.

There is an excellent parable that describes analysis paralysis:

A centipede is walking along one day and comes across a frog. The frog notices how many legs the centipede must move in a coordinated fashion . . . he stops the centipede and asks him how he knows when to move each leg. The centipede thinks for a moment then replies, “I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it.” The frog thanks him for stopping but the centipede doesn’t move. The frog asks the centipede what is wrong and the centipede says, “I cannot figure out which leg to move!”

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Social Anxiety

While social anxiety is particularly common among teenagers, many adults find that it gets in the way of enjoying social times. It is often linked to performance anxiety and involves a persistent fear of judgment or scrutiny by others. This anxiety can manifest in social, romantic, or professional situations, leading individuals to withdraw from social interactions or avoid them altogether. People with social anxiety often struggle with understanding and applying social norms in real-time situations, even if they comprehend them in theory. It’s important to note that being shy or introverted (which are different) doesn’t necessarily equate to social anxiety.

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If you’re dealing with social anxiety, consider gradual exposure to social situations. Perhaps begin with very short interactions with only one or two people, like the cashier at the grocery store. A simple question like, “How are you?” is a great way to begin. As you feel more comfortable with those short interactions, consider moving to interactions at smaller gatherings and work your way up to larger events, all while practicing mindfulness-based relaxation techniques like 4-7-8 breathing or progressive relaxation. Jonathan uses highly effective Minfulness-based Cognitive Therapy to change thought patterns and behaviors related to social anxiety.
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Performance Anxiety

Performance anxiety, on the other hand, is often tied to social anxiety. It goes beyond the typical pre-performance jitters. Individuals with performance anxiety may know the material well but find the prospect of performing in front of others overwhelming, sometimes to the point of experiencing nausea or full-blown panic attacks.

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To conquer performance anxiety, preparation is key. Practice and rehearse extensively to build confidence. Deep breathing and progressive relaxation exercises can help calm nerves just before a performance. Visualization techniques, where you mentally rehearse successful outcomes, can also be helpful.

As a performing musician himself, Jonathan struggled with performance anxiety. This was in spite of consistent postive feedback from others, and hearing recordings of his own performances. This gives him insight into what people are experiencing, and some ideas of how to find what works for your particular circumstance.
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Existential Anxiety

Existential anxiety delves into profound questions about the meaning of life and death. Individuals grappling with existential anxiety may ponder what happens after death, question the existence of an afterlife, or contemplate beliefs in reincarnation. These questions often lack clear-cut answers, making it essential to find peace in not knowing everything and relinquishing control. They bring into focus the differnce between the known, the unknown, and the unknown but knowable.

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When facing existential questions, engage in self-reflection and seek philosophical or spiritual guidance. Meditation and mindfulness can aid in finding peace in uncertainty. Discussing these thoughts with a counselor or therapist experienced in existential concerns can be beneficial. Jonathan in particular has extensive experience in integrating the existential philosophies into clinical practice that is easily integrated into people’s everyday lives.
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Financial Anxiety

Financial anxiety is rooted in concerns about meeting basic needs, both for oneself and one’s family. In our society, essential needs like food, clothing, and shelter are closely tied to financial stability. When financial anxiety takes hold, it can keep individuals on edge throughout the day, making it difficult to relax even during nighttime hours.

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To manage financial anxiety, create a budget and stick to it. Seek financial counseling if necessary to gain control over your finances. Developing an emergency fund can provide peace of mind in case of unexpected expenses.
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Health Anxiety

Health anxiety, or hypochondriasis in extreme cases, emerges when concerns about one’s health become overwhelming. This can be due to actual physical conditions or an obsession with the possibility of declining health. For instance, discovering prolonged exposure to cancer-causing materials like asbestos in a workplace can trigger intense health-related anxiety. The physical manifestations of stress and anxiety can exacerbate these concerns, creating a vicious cycle if not addressed.

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Addressing health anxiety may require regular check-ups with a healthcare provider to alleviate concerns about physical health. Therapies such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can be highly effective in managing health-related worries, thereby reducing the needs for repeated visits to your doctor. Educate yourself about your health concerns and engage in self-care practices like regular exercise and a balanced diet.
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Seeking Help for Anxiety

Anxiety can affect every aspect of your life, from your daily routines to your long-term goals and well-being. If you’re struggling with anxiety and it’s interfering with your ability to live life to the fullest, you don’t have to face it alone. At Gate Healing, PLLC, we understand the challenges that anxiety can pose, and we’re here to help you overcome them. Our research-based interventions and compassionate support can make a significant difference in your journey to managing anxiety effectively.

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For comprehensive counseling on anxiety, please explore Counseling for Anxiety in Austin.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has been dedicated to the helping profession since 1990. He completed his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994 and earned his Master’s degree in 1997 from the University of Minnesota. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, he is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. In addition, Jonathan completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling and received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing in 1998. For more about Jonathan’s practice, visit Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Stress Management By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

Holiday Stress

Navigating Holiday Stress: Expert Tips for a Serene Season

The holiday season is often seen as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for many, it can also be a period of immense stress and overwhelm. As a seasoned counselor specializing in stress management, I’m here to help you manage holiday stress effectively and make this season truly enjoyable. In this blog post, we’ll explore practical strategies to ease your stress, optimize your well-being, and help you embrace the holidays with a warm heart and a peaceful mind.

Understanding the Root of Holiday Stress

Holiday stress can arise from a variety of sources. Financial pressures, family dynamics, the frenzy of holiday shopping, and even the fear of not living up to your own or others’ expectations can all contribute to heightened stress levels during this time. Recognizing these sources is the first step to managing your stress effectively. In my post about Holiday Blues, I also discuss the impact of commercials and retail holiday decorations setting an inflated expectation of togetherness and joy. Compare this to the other holiday stresses like travel headaches and hosting guests (plus the stressors mentioned above)…The difference makes our stress levels soar, making it harder for us to be polite and friendly.

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Embracing Self-Care During the Holidays

When the holiday hustle and bustle threatens to take over, it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. The more you invest in self-care practices, the better equipped you’ll be to handle the challenges the season brings.

  • The Power of Saying “No”

One key aspect of self-care is setting and enforcing boundaries. It’s okay to decline certain commitments if you feel they’ll add to your stress. Your well-being should come first.

  • Mindfulness and Stress Reduction Techniques

Incorporating mindfulness practices can help you stay grounded during the holiday rush. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can provide a sense of calm and balance.

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Planning and Organization

The holiday season often involves a range of tasks, from gift shopping to meal planning. Effective organization can make a significant difference in reducing stress.

  • Create a Realistic Budget

Financial stress is a common issue during the holidays. By setting a realistic budget and sticking to it, you can minimize money-related worries. Think of this as setting and enforcing boundaries on yourself.

  •  Thoughtful Gift-Giving Strategy

Consider simplifying gift-giving by opting for thoughtful, meaningful presents. Remember, it’s the sentiment that counts, not the price tag. Handmade gifts often carry a great deal of meaningfulness. You might be surprised at the power of a simple, inexpensive gift that expresses your feelings toward the recipient.

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Managing Family Dynamics

For many, spending time with family during the holidays can bring joy but also stress. It’s important to navigate family dynamics with grace and resilience.

  • Open Communication

Effective communication can help resolve family conflicts. Encourage open conversations to express your needs and feelings, and be a good listener in return. Remember to be mindful of timing and the need for privacy. Additionally, consider how you are presenting your feelings . . . show that you understand the other person’s perspective before attempting to express your own; showing that understanding does not communicate that you agree with the points they are making.

  • Setting Realistic Expectations

Avoid striving for the perfect holiday, as this can lead to disappointment and stress. Instead, set achievable expectations and focus on the moments that truly matter. Looking for opportunities to express gratitude and fondness is a far better approach than looking for confrontation. Look for my posts on anticipatory defensiveness, anticipatory anxiety, and anticipatory rejection for some specific toxic expectations that can undermine your joy over the holidays.

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Seeking Professional Guidance

If holiday stress feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance. Counseling can provide valuable support and strategies for managing stress, enhancing your emotional well-being, and making the most of the holiday season.

Conclusion: A Calmer, Happier Holiday Season

The holiday season should be a time of joy and connection, not stress and anxiety. By understanding the sources of your holiday stress, practicing self-care, implementing effective planning and organization, and addressing family dynamics, you can make this season a time of genuine happiness. If you find yourself struggling with holiday stress, know that professional guidance is always available to help you navigate this challenging period. Embrace the holiday season with a warm heart and a peaceful mind, and rediscover the joy that it can truly bring.

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Learn more about how we can help with Stress Management.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Personal development By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

It’s Probably Not About You: A lesson in not taking things personally

Understanding the Root of Behavior

In moments when someone cuts you off in traffic or a friend acts snappy, it’s easy to take their behavior personally. However, it’s crucial to realize that more often than not, their actions are not a commentary on your worth. Instead, they’re a reflection of their own mindset and circumstances. Quite often, people, including you and me, don’t even realize how irritated we are coming across. Sometimes this is a result of a bad day, or we are just deep in thought about something frustrating.

Compassion in Everyday Scenarios

For instance, consider the driver who hastily cut you off. They may be racing to the hospital with an injured child in the backseat or rushing to the vet due to a pet emergency. Or, perhaps they’re just having a particularly bad day and being discourteous. Even if they believe they should be ahead of you, it doesn’t diminish your value as a person.

This concept extends to various situations, beyond the realm of road rage. When someone appears irritable or snappy with you, it’s often a reflection of their internal struggles. Even if you’ve had a tense encounter with them, it may not be about you but rather how they interact with others. However, if you acknowledge your own unkind behavior, it’s an opportunity for personal growth and reflection.

People Reflect Their Inner Emotions

This phenomenon is particularly evident in children, whose emotional centers are not yet fully connected to their language and logic centers. When upset, they tend to “act out,” and this pattern continues in kids from challenging family environments, who may frequently find themselves in trouble. Adults, too, exhibit this behavior, albeit in more intricate and subtle ways. Remember, whether we are talking about an adult or a child, almost every problematic behavior is rooted in a perfectly valid need . . . the person may need help expressing this need.

Understanding Behavioral Patterns

For example, consider a boss who unjustly berates an employee at work, and then the employee returns home to yell at their dog without cause. This behavior isn’t about the dog; it’s an expression of the employee’s emotional state. The same principle applies to the boss’s outburst at the employee; it’s more about their frame of mind than the employee’s actions. Similarly, actions like being passive-aggressive, manipulative, or using defensive debate techniques often reflect the individual’s internal mindset.

It is important to stress that while a person’s mindset can alter how they treat people, it does not excuse it. When you are the offending party, be sure to take responsibility with an apology.

The Power of Agreements

In Don Miguel Ruiz’s book “The Four Agreements,” which draws from ancient Toltec teachings, the second agreement is “Don’t take things personally.”

Embracing “Don’t Take Things Personally”

When someone’s behavior triggers you, remember that it’s about them, not you. However, if you find yourself becoming defensive, that’s about you. Your defensiveness provides insight into your own emotional state. To enhance your life and support others in doing the same, practice mindfulness and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. This approach empowers you to create a more fulfilling life for yourself and those around you.

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*Updated October 23, 2023

Learn more about Counseling in Austin and how we can help you find happiness.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Personal development By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

Finances, Budgeting and Mental Health

The Connection Between Finances and Mental Health

Finances are not the number one reason for suffering; it’s an attachment to financial or material gain that is the root of suffering. However, money is often cited as the number one reason for relationship stress. Even for single individuals, money can be a primary source of stress. Learning to manage your finances effectively can reduce concerns about meeting budget needs and provide you with the funds you need for much-needed downtime.

Understanding Your Income and Spending Patterns

Create a Spending Journal

Begin your journey to financial well-being by selecting a tracking method that suits your preferences, whether it’s a pen and paper or a computer. This method provides a genuine snapshot of your financial decisions, revealing how even minor expenses, such as lottery tickets, alcohol, or cigarettes, can accumulate significantly over time.

Compile a comprehensive list of your monthly bills, encompassing your rent or mortgage, insurance, utilities, phone and internet bills, car-related expenses, health insurance, groceries, entertainment, personal care, and recurring expenses like car repairs, holidays, and hobbies. This in-depth snapshot of your spending habits offers valuable insights for effective budget planning.

To anticipate unforeseen costs, include specific line items in your budget for “miscellaneous” or “unexpected” expenses, with an allocation of $50-100 for each category. Even with just one $50 line item, you’ll establish a $600 annual cushion.

Build a Cushion: Round Expenses Up and Income Down

To prepare for unexpected expenses, consider two primary approaches: Include line items for “Misc.” or “Unexpected” with $50-100 budgeted for each. Alternatively, round your after-tax income down and your expenses up, creating two additional layers of cushion. For example, if your rent is $830 per month, round it up to $850, and if your net paycheck is $2200, round it down to $2100 or even $2000. Keeping a record of the actual, non-rounded numbers for reference while planning your spending is beneficial.

How to Split and Share Dual-Income Family Funds

Managing finances in a dual-income family can be a complex task, but the hybrid method is often the most effective solution. This approach balances individual and household needs by maintaining both private and joint accounts.

The Hybrid Method: A Practical Solution for Managing Finances as a Couple

The Hybrid Method is a great way to balance individual and household needs when it comes to finances. Both partners deposit their paychecks into their own private accounts and then transfer a specific dollar amount or a percentage of their income to a joint account. Start by creating a budget to determine how much money you need to cover expenses and have some cushion left over. Decide how much each partner should transfer to the joint account, with the remaining money in the individual accounts free to be used as each person sees fit.

Set a threshold for individual purchases that trigger a discussion to keep each other informed. For example, some couples say any personal purchases over $1000 should be discussed beforehand. Exceptions to this rule include large gifts like diamond rings for anniversaries where you don’t want to ruin the surprise. Prioritize funding the joint account first and make it a habit to revisit your budget regularly. Monthly or quarterly check-ins are common, but starting with weekly check-ins in the beginning is fine. At least every six months, or more frequently if necessary, check in to make adjustments and ensure that the Hybrid Method continues to work for you.

Seeking Guidance for Financial Well-Being

Managing your finances effectively can lead to a healthier, stress-free life. If you find yourself facing challenges in this area, remember that you don’t have to navigate them alone. Professional guidance and support can make a significant difference. I’m here to assist you on your journey to financial well-being, offering insights, strategies, and a helping hand to achieve your goals while maintaining your sanity. Don’t hesitate to reach out, and together, we can create the life satisfaction you are looking for.

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Learn more about how Counseling in Austin can help you manage discomfort related to finances.

 Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Couples and Marriage Counseling By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

Emotional Rent – How much are you paying?

What is Emotional Rent in Relationships?

In the world of relationships, the concept of “emotional rent” is a powerful one. It revolves around the idea that in certain relationships, one partner may feel they’re paying a price just to receive emotional support or have their needs met. This often manifests in toxic behaviors from the other person, like passive-aggressive guilt trips, controlling behaviors, entitlement, manipulation, and other similar actions. As a seasoned counselor, I’m here to shed light on this concept and guide you toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships where you aren’t paying emotional rent.

Weighing the Emotional Rent: Is It Worth It?

It’s vital to remember that no relationship is perfect, and every partnership has its share of ups and downs. However, what truly matters is whether the cost of dealing with these difficulties is worth the benefits you receive from the relationship. Are you ready to explore how much emotional rent you’re paying in your relationship?

Navigating Emotional Rent: The Role of Couples Counseling

If you’ve found yourself in a relationship where the emotional toll is starting to outweigh the rewards, it’s time to take action and seek the support you deserve. Fortunately, there are resources available, such as couples therapy or counseling, designed to help you navigate the complexities of your relationship and make informed decisions about your future.

Your Well-Being Matters: You Deserve Better

At GateHealing, we understand that prioritizing your well-being and mental health is paramount. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel respected, valued, and supported. We specialize in couples counseling and offer a safe, non-judgmental space where you can explore the concept of emotional rent and its impact on your relationship. Our goal is to empower you to make choices that align with your happiness and emotional well-being.

Get in Touch for a Brighter Future

If you’re ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and improved relationships, please reach out to us. We’re here to help you untangle the complexities of emotional rent and guide you toward a more rewarding and fulfilling partnership. Your emotional well-being is worth the investment, and together, we can build a brighter future for you and your relationship.

*Updated October 23, 2023

Learn more about how Couples Counseling can help your relationship thrive!

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Personal development By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

Autism Spectrum and Making Friends

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A Guide for Teens and Young Adults with ASD to Make Friends
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Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Finding Friendship

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is the new term for what used to be called Asperger’s Disorder. It can be thought of as being on a spectrum ranging from mild to severe. Asperger’s (now ASD) would be on the lower end. Many people with ASD are employed, successful in academics, live fully independent lives, and go on to get married and have families. They tend to struggle with repetitive movements, social skills, and interpreting social cues. However, managing ASD is possible with the right help!
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Developing and maintaining friendships can be a rewarding and fulfilling aspect of life for teens and young adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). While building social connections might present unique challenges, there are effective strategies that can help individuals with ASD foster meaningful relationships. In this blog post, we’ll provide practical advice to help teens and young adults navigate the social landscape and build lasting friendships.

  1. Understand Your Strengths: Recognize and embrace your unique strengths and qualities. Everyone has something valuable to offer in a friendship, and acknowledging your positive traits can boost your self-confidence.
  2. Identify Shared Interests: Seek out activities, hobbies, or groups that align with your interests. Joining clubs or engaging in activities related to your passions can help you connect with others who share your hobbies.
  3. Practice Social Skills: Engage in role-playing or social skills training to improve your ability to initiate conversations, maintain eye contact, and engage in small talk. Practicing these skills can make social interactions feel more comfortable.
  4. Use Technology to Connect: Online platforms and social media can be a great way to initiate conversations and build connections in a less overwhelming environment. Join online communities or groups that focus on your interests.
  5. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that friendships take time to develop. Not every interaction will lead to a deep connection, and that’s okay. Focus on building a variety of relationships.
  6. Learn About Nonverbal Cues: Study nonverbal cues, body language, and facial expressions to better understand the emotions and intentions of others. This knowledge can help you navigate social situations effectively.
  7. Practice Active Listening: Pay attention to what others are saying and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. Active listening helps create a sense of connection and fosters meaningful conversations.
  8. Express Your Boundaries: Be open about your needs and boundaries in friendships. Clear communication helps avoid misunderstandings and creates a foundation of mutual respect.
  9. Engage in Group Activities: Participate in group activities, workshops, or classes that interest you. These settings provide opportunities for gradual social interaction within a structured environment.
  10. Reach Out Gradually: Approach potential friends with a gradual progression of interactions. Start with casual conversations and gradually increase the depth of your interactions as you feel more comfortable.
  11. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate every positive step you take in building friendships, no matter how small. Each interaction is an opportunity for growth.

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Conclusions

Making friends as a teen or young adult with ASD is a journey that requires patience, effort, and self-compassion. By embracing your strengths, seeking shared interests, practicing social skills, and using technology to connect, you can navigate social interactions with greater ease. Remember that building friendships is about mutual understanding, respect, and shared experiences. With determination, practice, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone, you can cultivate meaningful connections that enrich your life and contribute to your overall well-being.

ASD Resources

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry – The AACAP provides a wealth of information on Autism and ASD

Autism Speaks – A non-profit organization dedicated to providing information and support around Autism and ASD

CDC – The CDC provides up-to-date information on a wide variety of conditions, including Autism and ASD

*Updated October 4, 2023

Learn more about how we can help you Navigate Life Challenges.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Stress Management By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

Coping with Tinnitus

Living with Tinnitus: Navigating the Sound of Silence

Understanding Tinnitus

Tinnitus is the perception of sound when there is no external auditory stimulus. It can manifest in various forms and intensities, making each person’s experience unique. Some common descriptions include ringing, buzzing, clicking, or even music-like tones. It can be constant or intermittent, and its causes can range from noise exposure to underlying health conditions.

The Emotional Landscape

Living with tinnitus often means navigating a complex emotional terrain. It can evoke feelings of frustration, anxiety, or even depression. As a counselor, I am well aware of the psychological impact such distressing sounds can have on a person’s mental well-being. It’s essential to accept these emotions and recognize that they are a natural response to a challenging situation. With help, they can be managed effectively.

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What the Professionals Say

Coping Strategies

  1. Sound Therapy: Many individuals find relief through sound therapy. This involves using soothing background noise, such as white noise or gentle music, to mask or distract from the ringing/buzzing sounds in your ears.
  2. Mindfulness and Meditation: Mindfulness practices help people focus on the present moment rather than the intrusive sounds. Meditation techniques can aid in relaxation and stress reduction.
  3. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can be effective in changing negative thought patterns associated with tinnitus. It helps people reframe perceptions and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
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Hearing Protection and Prevention

For those with tinnitus linked to noise exposure, hearing protection is vital. Take preventive measures to safeguard your hearing in noisy environments and reduce the risk of making your symptoms worse.

Support Networks

Living with tinnitus can be isolating, but it’s essential to remember that you are not alone. Seek support from a professional counselor, friends, family, or tinnitus support groups. Sharing experiences with others who understand the condition can be immensely comforting.

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Conclusion

Living with tinnitus is a journey filled with challenges, but it’s also one of resilience and adaptation. As a counselor, my personal experience helps me empathize and understand what you are going through. By offering guidance, support, and coping strategies, my hope is that you find a more peaceful coexistence with the sound of silence. Tinnitus need not define your life; it can become a part of your story of strength and resilience.

Resources

    1. American Tinnitus Association: The ATA is a leading organization dedicated to research and support. Their website offers comprehensive information, resources, and a community forum.
    2. Tinnitus Hub: Provides a wealth of information, including forums, articles, and expert advice. It’s a supportive community for individuals dealing with ringing in the ears.
    3. British Tinnitus Association: BTA is a UK-based organization offering resources and support for people with ringing in the ears. Their website includes helpful guides, research updates, and a helpline.
    4. Hearing Health Foundation: While not exclusively about ear ringing, this foundation offers valuable insights into hearing health, including articles and resources related to ear ringing.
    5. WebMD Tinnitus Health Center: Featuring articles, expert advice, and information on causes and treatments.
    6. American Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery (AAO-HNS): AAO-HNS provides clinical guidelines and patient information on diagnosis and management.
    7. Healthy Hearing Tinnitus: Healthy Hearing offers articles and resources on hearing health, including information on causes, treatments, and coping strategies for ear ringing.
    8. Mindful Tinnitus Relief: This website offers mindfulness-based approaches and guided meditation specifically designed to help individuals manage tinnitus-related stress and anxiety.
    9. Tinnitus Support Group on Reddit: Reddit hosts an active support group where individuals share their experiences, advice, and resources for coping with ear ringing.

*Updated October 3, 2023

Learn more about how we can help you manage stress.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

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Couples and Marriage Counseling By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

10 Great Tips for Couples Moving In Together

Tips for Couples Moving in Together: Navigating the Journey

Moving in together is a significant step in any couple’s journey. It’s a time of excitement, adjustment, and shared experiences. While it’s an opportunity to deepen your connection, it also comes with its unique set of challenges. In this blog post, we’ll explore practical tips for couples embarking on this new adventure, helping you navigate the transition smoothly and strengthen your bond along the way.

1. Communication is Key

Open and honest communication is the foundation of a successful transition. Discuss your expectations, boundaries, and shared goals. Address concerns or anxieties as they arise, and make a commitment to keeping the lines of communication open throughout your journey. It is critical that you and your partner be familiar with how to navigate conflict. It is a normal and healthy part of any relationship; do not shy away from it.

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What the Professionals Say

Did you know that 70% of conflict in healthy, happy, LIFELONG relationships is perpetual? It’s true! According to the Gottman Institute, most conflict in happy relationships is perpetual, or recurrent. This information can take the pressure off of couples when they move in together because it means that conflict does not mean a relationship is in trouble. Rather, relationship experts like the Gottmans and Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s agree that when communication is effective, conflict serves as a way to connect with one another. In other words, when conflict is managed effectively (vs being “resolved,” or “fixed”) instead of being stuck in gridlock, couples learn about one another and get to build a stronger relationship. Embrace conflict, but do so using healthy communication where you strive to understand the other person before striving to be understood. This is called “Postponing Persuasion.”

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2. Merge Your Styles

Moving in together often means combining two households, each with its own style and belongings. Take the time to blend your tastes and make joint decisions about decor and living arrangements. Compromise is key, and it’s an opportunity to create a space that feels like home for both of you.

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What the Professionals Say

When finding compromise it is important to first identify 1) Your dealbreakers. These are areas where are you not willing to negotiate at all, and 2) Your flexibilities, or places where you can negotiate. Begin by looking for overlap where each of you is willing to negotiate a bit. Be willing to concede some of your preferences in return for your partner doing the same. When dealing with issues where each of you is not willing to budge, look for adaptations like alternating days or weeks. A normal, healthy relationship will run into these when you move in. Healthy communication helps you find the compromises and adaptations.

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3. Define Responsibilities

Establish clear roles and responsibilities within your shared living space. Discuss chores, finances, and day-to-day tasks. A fair division of responsibilities ensures that neither partner feels overwhelmed or burdened by the demands of daily life.

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What the Professionals Say

A healthy relationship shares responsibilities. Effective communication helps a couple define who does what and when. A great way to define things is for each person to take a few minutes and write down various tasks that they either enjoy or don’t mind doing, followed by tasks that you’d rather not do. Usually, when you compare these lists, 80% of the assignments are obvious. The main issue is when both people don’t want to do something. In this case, there are many options for managing this:

  • Alternate days or weeks for the task
  • Flip a coin when it comes time for the task to be done
  • One person agrees to take on undesirable task A, and the other person agrees to take on undesirable task B.

The bottom line is to communicate. When you need help or would like to swap a task, just ask! You might be surprised how easy it is to compromise and adapt to responsibilities when both people approach them with the assumption of connectivity and optimism.

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4. Respect Personal Space

Even in a shared living situation, it’s essential to respect each other’s need for personal space and time alone. Create designated areas where each partner can retreat when they need a break or some solitude. Balancing togetherness with individuality is vital.

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What the Professionals Say

A dynamic that many couples who have moved in together face is quiet time together. In a healthy relationship, a couple can spend hours in a room together without speaking a word, and yet still feel deeply connected. That same couple is able to be away from each other and enjoy the break. It gives each person time to have their own interests and hobbies. It also allows each person the chance to miss the other person and look forward to seeing them!

Different people have different needs in regard to personal space; one person may need quite a bit, while the other may not need much at all. Once again, communication is critical! Most conflict couples experience when moving in will show up over and over again . . . this means that perpetual conflict is not something you need to worry about IF you have a solid communication skill set that helps you adapt and meet each other’s needs, or compromise around them.

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5. Financial Planning

Money matters can be a significant source of stress for couples. Discuss your financial goals, create a budget, and decide how expenses will be shared. Transparency about money can help prevent conflicts down the road.

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What the Professionals Say

By far, the number one issue that creates conflict among couples who have moved in together is money. Finances represent power, control, and security, and therefore have strong feelings associated with them. Talk to a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) about how to manage your finances and determine areas that you would do well to talk about. Examples include conversations about planning for long-term security (retirement) AND short-term security (trips to the hospital, or even protecting mental health with vacations). Start by simply hearing each other’s position and make an effort to see the wisdom, even if it is different from your perspective. You are NOT abandoning your position by simply showing that you understand theirs!

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6. Nurture Your Relationship

Don’t let the practicalities of daily life overshadow your romantic connection. Continue to date each other, plan special moments, and keep the romance alive. Prioritize quality time together to strengthen your bond.

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What the Professionals Say

A common mistake some couples make is that they stop “courting” each other after they move in together. It is important to show regular expressions of Fondness and Admiration (a dynamic discussed in the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling). Sweep her off her feet once in a while. Surprise him with a night of his favorite activities. The small gestures, like picking up a “Thinking of You” card and mailing it is a nice surprise (yes, snail mail . . . people love getting surprise snail mail!). Protect date nights and double date nights. They are the glue that keeps your relationship together.

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7. Patience and Flexibility

Moving in together is a process of adjustment. Be patient with yourselves and each other as you adapt to your new living situation. Flexibility and a willingness to compromise will serve you well.

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What the Professionals Say

When couples move in together, there are more opportunities to drive each other crazy! You start to see each other’s quirks and foibles. The smaller things like mildly noisy chewing seem to become bigger since they become more frequent, and you don’t have the option of escaping to your own place. However, some couples who lease apartments still have time left on their lease and this gives them the option to stay at their own home for a bit. Experts tend to agree that this should be a last-ditch option. Using effective communication helps couples see that they can stay in the same bed together even if they are upset. By making this a practice, couples are able to strengthen their bond.

At least for the first couple of months, consider having a planned meeting once a week where each of you has the chance to address any issues that could build into resentments if left unaddressed. Have a consistent neutral location for this, ideally NOT the bedroom. The kitchen table is a common meeting space. Be specific: One hour after dinner at the kitchen table. The meeting is 30-60 minutes (this can be extended). Have signals that indicate that a 20-minute break is needed.

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8. Conflict Management

Video: Managing Conflict Effectively
–Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s

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Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. Develop healthy conflict resolution strategies, such as active listening and compromise. Seek to understand each other’s perspectives and work together to find solutions.

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What the Professionals Say

According to Dr. John Gottman, Ph.D. at the Gottman Institute, there are four types of communication that can impede a couple’s understanding of one another. He refers to these toxic dynamics as the Four Horsemen:

  1. Criticism
  2. Defensiveness
  3. Contempt
  4. Stonewalling

He adds that Belligerence and Blame are also toxic, but tend to be seen as types of the other horsemen. If you feel like these are common issues during conflict, please get in touch so we can help you neutralize their effects. It is much easier than you may think!

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9. Seek Support if Needed

If challenges arise that feel too overwhelming to handle alone, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist or counselor. Professional guidance can provide valuable tools and insights for navigating complex issues.

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What the Professionals Say

Seeking couples counseling is not a sign that your relationship is “broken.” As a matter of fact, the sooner you seek support, the easier managing conflict tends to be. Even complex conflict is manageable in couples counseling since it teaches you how to keep your cool and how to communicate effectively. A quality couples therapist will design your sessions so that you don’t need to have them around to manage your conflict for you; the idea is to graduate you from couples therapy so that you can manage things on your own. Of course, you are free to return at any time to manage circumstances or just to do some preventative maintenance.

If you feel like your relationship could benefit from couples counseling, please get in touch with us to get started.

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10. Celebrate Milestones

Moving in together is a significant milestone in your relationship. Take time to celebrate it. Create rituals or traditions that mark the occasion and strengthen your sense of partnership.

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What the Professionals Say

Celebrating milestones in a relationship, especially for couples who have moved in together, reinforces their commitment, creates lasting memories, and strengthens their emotional connection. Couples counseling professionals like Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s emphasize the importance of these celebrations as they contribute to a healthy and enduring partnership. It’s a way to acknowledge the progress made, the challenges overcome, and the growth experienced together. Celebrations create cherished memories and strengthen the emotional connection between partners.

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Conclusion

Moving in together is a journey filled with opportunities for growth, connection, and shared experiences. By prioritizing communication, mutual respect, and teamwork, you can build a harmonious and fulfilling life together. Remember that it’s a process, and with patience and dedication, you’ll create a loving and supportive home where both partners can thrive.

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Learn more about how we can help you find balance in your relationships.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Family and Parenting By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

8 Great Tips for Parents Planning College

Navigating the Transition: Parents’ Guide to College Planning for Graduating Seniors

As parents, watching your child transition from high school to college is a momentous occasion filled with mixed emotions. It’s a time of excitement, anticipation, and a touch of apprehension. You want to provide the best support possible, but you might also wonder how involved you should be in this new phase of your life, and theirs. In this blog post, we’ll explore considerations for parents as they guide their graduating seniors through the college preparation journey, striking the balance between support and independence.

1. Encourage Self-Discovery During College Preparation:

One of the most valuable gifts you can give your child is the opportunity to explore their passions and interests. Encourage them to reflect on what they want to study and why. Help them identify their strengths, values, and goals. This self-discovery process will empower them to make informed decisions about their college path.

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What the Professionals Say

Remember to watch for signs that your teen is done listening for the time being. You’ll have other chances to impart your wisdom, and they will be more likely to listen if they feel you can respect their implied boundaries like changing the subject (or explicit spoken boundaries like, “Can we talk about something else?”).

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2. Open Communication:

Maintaining open and honest communication is key. Create an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing their hopes and concerns about college. Listen actively and without judgment. Understand that their priorities and aspirations may evolve over time.

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What the Professionals Say

Your teenager is facing becoming an adult. Some anxiety (from them) about this is normal. Keep this in mind if they seem irritable when you are offering them coaching on their choices. Let them dream and explore their own ideas about college. If you try to control them, then they are more likely to pull away once they are on campus and out from under your direct control. However, if you show them the proper respect as young adults, they are likely to see you as an ally and coach that they can count on for sound advice.

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3. Research Colleges Together:

Explore college options together. Research institutions that align with your child’s academic and personal preferences. Attend college fairs, campus tours, and information sessions. Encourage your child to take the lead in these activities, but offer guidance and support when needed.

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What the Professionals Say.

A common source of conflict between graduating seniors and parents is the cost of education and what parents are willing to provide. Your child may be interested in an expensive out-of-state college or university (out-of-state is usually more expensive). If it is out of your budget, simply talk with your child about options. A common option is that parents pay what they had planned on, and then the student gets financial aid (scholarships, grants, loans) to make up the difference; some parents even offer to help pay those loans down over time, but this is not necessary.

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4. Financial Planning:

College can be a significant financial commitment. Discuss the costs and available financial aid options early on. Explore scholarships, grants, and work-study programs. While it’s essential for your child to understand financial responsibility, your guidance in navigating these waters can be invaluable.

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What the Professionals Say

Continuing from number 3 above: Should you agree that your graduating senior will take on some loans, a big selling point on this is the fact that it will give them an amazing head-start on establishing a solid credit history. Explain that a large factor in their credit score is the average age of their credit. Starting their credit history at 18 or 19 will pay dividends later in life when they are ready to buy a house (assuming they make responsible decisions about credit and payments, etc.).

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5. Encourage Independence in Preparation for College Life:

As the college application process unfolds, empower your child to take the reins. Encourage them to complete applications, write essays, and manage deadlines. Offer assistance when requested, but allow them to take ownership of this important journey. Of course, you are still their parent! You can stay on them a bit to be sure that the ‘ol “Senioritis” doesn’t extend into procrastination of their applications!

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What the Professionals Say

Your graduating senior’s school counselor can provide you with referrals for coaches who specialize in helping students complete college applications. They provide insight, support, deadlines, and action plans for manageable steps. Don’t hesitate to use this resource. If this is out of the budget, that is okay, there are plenty of resources, like the school counselor and academic advisors at colleges who can offer support as well.

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6. Foster Resilience:

College life brings new challenges and opportunities for growth. Prepare your child for potential setbacks and teach them resilience. Emphasize that it’s okay to seek help when needed, whether academically or emotionally. Encourage a growth mindset that embraces learning from both successes and failures.

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What the Professionals Say

Do you remember your early college or career experiences? While times are different now, the general experience is the same: Your graduating senior is facing what feels like a freight train of responsibility barreling at them at light speed. Offer them some stories of how you handled things, BUT be sure to ask them if they think there is a related method they can use in the world of cyber-technology.

The important thing is that you DO NOT imply that you KNOW what they are going through and that they should do exactly as you did. This will often drive young adults away. However, when you ask them what they think, and then praise their thought process (assuming it is in the right direction), they are likely to see you as that coach and ally they can trust and rely upon for guidance.

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7. Supportive Presence:

While encouraging independence is essential, let your child know that your support remains unwavering. Be a source of encouragement, a listening ear, and a shoulder to lean on. Attend important milestones like college visits or orientation together to show your commitment.

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What the Professionals Say

This is especially true when they make mistakes. Perhaps they miss an application deadline for admission or for a scholarship, or perhaps they submit an essay full of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. While it is certainly okay to point out the problem, QUICKLY shift to offering support and options for getting back on track. For example, if they miss an application for admission deadline, encourage them to think of a solution, but if they are overwhelmed, step in and ask ASK them what they think about contacting the dean’s office to ask for an extension.

You can also remind them that they can go to a local community college (which is cheaper) and knock out some core classes. They’ll just need to get a certain GPA, and then transfer into their preferred college or university. The lesson is that there are always options. Remember, watch for that Green Light, Yellow Light, Red Light concept. . . if they seem receptive (Green Light), then keep chatting with them. But as they move to Yellow and certainly Red, back off and give them space to consider their options.

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8. Trust Their College Choices:

Ultimately, trust your child’s decisions regarding college selection. Remember that their journey may take unexpected turns, and that’s okay. Trust in their ability to navigate these twists and turns and to find their unique path.

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What the Professionals Say

Some parents dream of their children attending the same university that they attended. While this is a wonderful treat when your son or daughter picks this path, it is important that you not pressure them about it. Even joking too much about it can feel like pressure. Of course, talking with them about how great the University of Texas at Austin is (Hook ’em Horns!!), be sure that you let them know there are plenty of amazing options out there for them to explore and that you are proud no matter what they decide.

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Conclusion:

Preparing your graduating senior for college is a journey of growth for both parent and child. It’s about finding the delicate balance between providing guidance and fostering independence. By nurturing self-discovery, maintaining open communication, and offering unwavering support, you empower your child to embark on this exciting adventure with confidence and resilience. Together, you’ll navigate this transition, ensuring that your child’s college experience is filled with opportunities for growth, learning, and personal development.

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A Final Note from Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s

Not all students need to attend college

Please remember that not all people need to attend college. Increasingly, we are realizing that people can get on-the-job training and have very successful lives that are no less lucrative than college-educated people. Some young adults need to work for a couple of years before attending college, others have different ideas that involve becoming an apprentice or starting their own business. Be sure to allow your kids to talk through these ideas. It is better that they talk with you about this than somebody who you don’t know what they are going to say.

When college grades suffer

Many parents dread what to do when their kids struggle in college. Be supportive! Offer to help them get tutoring to get caught up. Let them come home over the weekend to clear their minds. But if the struggles continue and you see that it is a result of them not being responsible (partying too much, not studying, not turning in work, etc.) then your options change. If you are paying for their college, one option is the require them to get student loans in their name for their education. Then you can reimburse them based on performance. For example, you can pay a percentage of their semester’s expenses based on GPA:

  • 4.0 = You pay 100% of tuition, books, room, and food expenses.
  • 3.0 = You pay 80%
  • 2.0 = You pay 50%
  • Anything under a 2.0 they pay their entire bill

Their loans will not come due as long as they continue with full-time classes (there are exceptions for this, just check with lenders). When they have this “in-school deferment” they are not accruing interest.

You may be asking, what if they get 3 A’s and an F. Technically this would be around a 3.0 GPA. I tend to suggest that you include a provision that no failing grades will be reimbursed at the above rates. Naturally, for the first F, you can offer a freebie as they will have to take the class again anyway. Another way to deal with this is to offer reimbursement per class (in other words, you pay a percent of their fees for each class); this is a little more work but does have the advantage of treating each class as its own benchmark.

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Learn more about how we can help you find balance in your family life.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.

Personal development By new_cgekr3 0 Comments

Preparing for College: A 6-Step-Guide

Preparing High School Seniors for the Transition to College Life

The transition from high school to college marks a significant milestone in the lives of young adults. It’s a time filled with anticipation, excitement, and even a touch of uncertainty. As high school seniors prepare to embark on this journey, there are valuable steps they can take to ensure a smooth transition, both academically and emotionally. In this blog post, we’ll explore essential tips and insights for high school seniors as they prepare to move away from home and enter the world of college.

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Step 1: Academic Preparation: Setting the Foundation

Before heading off to college, high school seniors should focus on integrating their academic foundation. This includes:

  • Reviewing and strengthening essential subject areas. Graduating seniors need to keep in mind that they will be taking several of the same classes in college that they took in high school.
  • Developing effective study habits and time management skills. Consider a structured study plan*.
  • Seeking guidance from high school counselors and teachers to ensure they are academically prepared for the challenges of college coursework.

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What the Professionals Say

*As high school seniors prepare to transition to college life, it’s essential to consider the insights shared by professionals. Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s advises graduating seniors “While some college courses may cover similar subject matter as high school classes, they often move at a faster pace and delve deeper into the material. To thrive academically, students can benefit from adopting a structured study plan, such as the Pomodoro Method, which enhances the efficiency and effectiveness of study sessions.”
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Step 2:

Exploring Career Goals: A Time for Self-Discovery

College offers a unique opportunity for students to explore various career paths. High school seniors can:

  • Reflect on their interests, passions, and long-term career goals.
  • Research potential majors and fields of study.
  • Seek internships or part-time jobs related to their interests to gain valuable real-world experience.

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What the Professionals Say

High school seniors should bear in mind that declaring a major isn’t an immediate requirement upon entering college. While specific programs may necessitate an early decision, many students have the flexibility to explore various academic paths. Even if you do select a major, remember that changes are possible. It’s advisable to consult your academic advisor to assess any potential adjustments to your college journey and estimated graduation date.

Furthermore, your choice of major doesn’t confine you to a single career trajectory. The path you embark upon in college doesn’t dictate your professional destiny. Consider that you can return to school for additional degrees or pursue vocational courses at a community college to prepare for new career prospects. Many individuals find themselves transitioning into entirely different fields throughout their careers, evolving naturally over time. For instance, I know several individuals with Master’s degrees in counseling who progressed into management roles, eventually specializing in statistical analysis—an unexpected but fulfilling career evolution for them. And they could still switch back again! Education should not put you in a box; it should get you out.

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Step 3:

Financial Planning: Navigating College Costs

Understanding the financial aspects of college is crucial. Seniors can:

  • Explore scholarships, grants, and financial aid opportunities.
  • Create a budget and savings plan.
  • Familiarize themselves with the costs associated with college life, such as tuition, housing, textbooks, and living expenses. And yes, entertainment!

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What the Professionals Say

In the college context, achieving a “Work-Life Balance” often translates into managing an “Academics-Life Balance.” Many college students choose to work to support their education financially. When taking on employment alongside their studies, students should carefully consider the academic load they can handle. Instead of diving headfirst into a demanding 15-credit semester loaded with math and science courses, it’s wise to ease into the college experience gradually.

Begin by working a manageable number of hours and enrolling in a smaller number of classes. This allows for a smoother adjustment to the demands of college life. As you gain confidence and maintain good academic standing, you can progressively increase your work hours or take on additional classes in subsequent semesters. This gradual approach ensures that you strike a balance between academic achievement and work commitments, ultimately setting the stage for a successful college journey.
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Step 4:

Emotional Preparation: The Transition Away from Home

Moving away from home can be emotionally challenging. High school seniors can:

  • Engage in open and honest discussions with their families about the upcoming transition.
  • Develop coping strategies to manage homesickness and stress. Remember, your family and friends are only a phone call away; and these days, video calls keep everybody closer than ever!
  • Familiarize themselves with campus resources, such as counseling services, to provide emotional support.
  • Enjoy new friendships. Most other students will be going through the same thing as you.

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What the Professionals Say

Remember that for parents letting go of their young adult children is a very difficult time for them as well. They may try to control more than you are comfortable with, but it is because they love you and want you to have a wonderful time in college. Try to be patient and let them help you. If they are going a bit too far, be respectful and simply tell them how you feel. Most parents will understand and do their best to dial it back a little bit. Sometimes, parents will want to help you make the move and will offer to help you make the trip. Unless there is a truly compelling reason to not allow this, graciously accept their help. While this is a time for you to launch into your new autonomy, you’ll find the help moving in will be nice. Keep in mind, they’ve raised you for around 18 years now and you’ll have plenty of time without them once they hit the road.
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Step 5:

Practical Skills: Preparing for Independence

Practical skills are essential for college life. Seniors can:

  • Learn basic cooking and meal planning.
  • Practice laundry, cleaning, and other essential life skills. Better to shrink and discolor your clothes while at home.
  • Develop strong communication and problem-solving skills to navigate dorm life and roommate dynamics. Seek out guidance from older friends, parents, or others who have gone through the transition to independence already. A trusted counselor will be able to help you with this as well.

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What the Professionals Say

When it comes to learning to cook, do laundry, safely clean, and effectively budget, a Home Economics class in high school is a great idea. It is not just about cooking and cleaning; it is about economics as well. Asking your parents, aunts & uncles, counselors, scout leaders, etc. is also a great way of getting information about “adulting.”

Regarding cleaning, some young adults are not aware that mixing bleach and ammonia creates potentially fatal vapors, so it is a bad idea to try and mix the two chemicals to address those stubborn stains on the countertop.

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Step 6:

Building a Support Network: Finding a Sense of Belonging

The transition to college is smoother when students have a support network in place. Seniors can:

  • Attend college orientation programs to meet peers and faculty.
  • Join clubs and organizations aligned with their interests.
  • Connect with mentors and upperclassmen for guidance and advice.
  • Get together with other peers who are going to the same college and start making social plans for once you arrive.

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What the Professionals Say

Many college seniors make plans to rush for membership in a fraternity or sorority. While this certainly is a way to increase your peer group, be sure that you know what is involved in rushing, at that you know how to keep your academics as your priority.
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Conclusion

The journey from high school to college is a pivotal time of growth, learning, and self-discovery. By taking proactive steps in academic preparation, career exploration, financial planning, emotional readiness, and practical skills development, high school seniors can confidently embrace the challenges and opportunities that await them. College life is not just about academics; it’s a holistic experience that shapes character and fosters independence. As these young adults prepare to spread their wings and venture into the world of higher education, they are poised for a transformative and enriching journey ahead.

Learn more about how we can help you find balance in your life.

Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s has worked in the helping profession since he started college in 1990. After completing his Bachelor’s degree at the University of Texas, Austin in 1994, he attended the highly-regarded University of Minnesota to earn his Master’s degree in 1997. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and is recognized as a Board Approved Supervisor by the State of Texas Board of Examiners of Professional Counselors. Jonathan has completed Level 2 of the Gottman Method of Couples Counseling, and in 1998 received training from the International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Advanced Critical Incident Stress Management & Debriefing. To learn more about Jonathan’s practice, click here: Jonathan F. Anderson, LPC-s.