Myths about Counseling

People avoid therapy for a lot of reasons. Cost, time, not knowing where to start. But one of the biggest reasons is that they have the wrong idea about what counseling actually is. Misconceptions about therapy have been passed around for decades, and they stop people from getting help they could genuinely benefit from.

Here are the most common myths I hear, and what actually happens.

Myth: People who see a counselor are “mentally ill”

This is probably the most persistent misconception about therapy. Most people who come to counseling are not mentally ill. They’re dealing with something difficult: a relationship problem, a career change, anxiety that won’t quit, grief, stress, a feeling of being stuck. Seeking help from a counselor is no different than seeing a doctor when you’re physically hurt. It doesn’t mean something is fundamentally wrong with you. It means you’re dealing with something and could use support.

Myth: You have to lie on a couch while someone takes notes

That’s a movie version of psychoanalysis from the 1950s. In modern therapy, you sit in a comfortable chair (or, if you’re doing virtual therapy, you’re in your own home). We talk. It’s a conversation, not a clinical observation. You won’t be staring at a ceiling while I sit behind you scribbling on a notepad.

Myth: You’ll have to relive all your past trauma

Therapy is not about forcing you to re-experience painful events. While understanding your history can be useful, a good therapist will never push you to relive trauma. If recounting a story starts to feel like it’s doing more harm than good, we redirect. The goal is to help you move forward, not to keep you stuck in the past.

Myth: The therapist will take sides in couples or family counseling

Couples counseling and family counseling are not about assigning blame. They’re about finding more effective ways to communicate and resolve disagreements. If someone is doing something harmful in the relationship, a therapist will address it, but the focus is always on understanding what’s driving the behavior and finding better ways to get needs met.

Myth: Counselors just tell you what to do

If a counselor just handed you a list of instructions, that wouldn’t help you develop the skills to handle things on your own. A good therapist helps you figure out what works for you. My job is to help you see patterns, recognize what’s happening, and build confidence in your own ability to navigate your life. Sometimes I’ll offer perspective or challenge your thinking, but I’m not handing down orders.

Myth: Your counselor will try to keep you in therapy forever

A good therapist wants you to not need therapy anymore. The goal is to help you build the tools and confidence to manage life’s challenges independently. Some people come for a few sessions to work through something specific. Others decide they value having a regular check-in to process their lives. Either way, the choice is always yours. You should never feel like you “must” have therapy to function.

Myth: Therapy is only for people in crisis

You don’t have to wait until things are falling apart to see a counselor. In fact, therapy is often most effective when you start before things reach a crisis point. Many people use counseling for personal growth, improving relationships, managing stress, or working through transitions. Coming to therapy when you’re “just” stressed or unsure about something is perfectly reasonable and often prevents bigger problems down the road.

Myth: Virtual therapy isn’t as effective as in-person

Research consistently shows that virtual therapy is just as effective as in-person sessions for most issues. The therapeutic relationship, the skills you learn, and the insights you gain don’t require being in the same room. Many people actually find virtual sessions more comfortable because they’re in their own space. And there’s no commute, no waiting room, and more flexibility with scheduling.

Myth: Therapy takes years

It can, but it doesn’t have to. Some people see meaningful improvement in 6 to 8 sessions. Others work on deeper issues over a longer period. The timeline depends on what you’re working on, how long it’s been a problem, and how much effort you put in between sessions. There’s no predetermined length, and you’re never locked in.

If you have questions about therapy that aren’t answered here, check out the Counseling FAQ or reach out and ask. No question is too basic.

Frequently Asked Questions

A: Yes. What you share in therapy stays between us. There are a small number of legal exceptions (imminent danger to yourself or others, suspected abuse of a child or vulnerable adult, or a court order), but I'll explain those clearly at the start. Outside of those situations, your sessions are completely private.
A: If you're asking the question, that's usually a sign that talking to someone could help. You don't need a diagnosis or a crisis to benefit from counseling. If something is weighing on you and your usual coping strategies aren't cutting it, therapy is a reasonable next step.
A: No. I've been doing this for over 25 years, and there is very little I haven't heard. Therapy only works if you can be honest, and that requires a judgment-free space. Whatever you're thinking or feeling, you can say it.